walking in a suit

Special day today. A day swanning around the Web Directions South confernce currently running in Sydney. It is two days of having the perverse pleasure of wearing a suit. I don't wear suits as a rule unless its a job interview. Today I wore a Nerhu collared black number I had made in Vietnam. Poking out the bottom were the hand-made (again in Vietnam) zip up black leather boots. There are 600 web folk wandering around - all of them talented in something. Perhaps 40% of them are women. Nearly everyone is dressed down, because, you know, they are web people and they don't need to make an impression through how they look. They are smart, and if you are smart enough to engage with them, you will see through the mirage that is dressing for appearance only. Everyone dresses in the way that makes them feel comfortable. So I get to be the only guy looking sexy in a suit except the waiters and sponsors. Sweet! And you can tell I'm not a waiter because I'm wearing a People's Army of China cap (also made in Vietnam) and spend half my time outside smoking cigarettes and cursing the fact that at a Web confernce with free wireless I can't get a frigging connection so am cut off from the world. But don't believe the hype, I am enjoying myself.

ruby rails to india

Have spent a day listening and watching a man move too fast and speak too much. But as an introduction to Ruby on Rails it was good. I don't know what I've learnt, but I can feel the pressure in my skull from all that damn knowledge. I am going to go out, poke at some food in a thoughtful way and drink a shitload.

In a few hours Mic leaves on a plane to India with her boyfriend. Whilst I am still officially in denial and thus do not feel the consequences of this right now, part of me knows that something tomorrow morning will be broken. The inner circle can no longer function in balanced harmony. The machinary will start to go awry, spinning too fast and tipping from its safe axis. My world - by a simple absence - is going to start slipping from control. Sydney will become defunct.

Good morning Vietnam.

near a month as gone by

it wasn't meant to be like this. i'm sorry blogger, it was just.. it was just....

Telstra cut me off my goddamn ADSL for 10 days!

and it all went to shit after that... i am back from the wilderness... and after a good drink i can start spreading the word again.

i'll just have that drink

another two weeks later

I have floated through another two weeks. Two weeks is the measure of my floating. Whilst I am not particularly materialistic, my payday is fortnightly. The sudden influx of cash each fourteen days causes a flurry of bills, paybacks and stockpiling being attended to. Which leaves one well stocked, up-to-date and broke for the next couple of weeks. Such is the structured pressure of the capitalist world that impinges upon us that do not necessarily feel the consumerist need.

Perhaps a better metaphor is catching the wave on payday and riding it into shore fast knowing it is all good for the trip. Then there is the effort of paddling out again, and waiting in the cold for the next good wave to come past. Though since I pretty much avoid swimming at all costs I wouldn't know what the metaphor means first hand.

There is a lot of change in the air. One flatmate is leaving overseas. A flurry of discussions about bonds and bills and who is going to be on the phone bill. Boxes appearing in hall ways. Mutterings of goodbye meet-ups. I can understand why dogs get freaked out when they see the suitcases come out. The new tax year is upon us. Vietnamese lessons are starting again. I sit back and think about it. This is the normal amount of change. Change is always upon us. And it always catches me by surprise and gets the same drunken stoner stare down. And the change always slides past, is absorbed and the ripples past out and leave still waters.

Still waters are not always deep. Some times they are just drunk and happy. For no particular reason I did not drink yesterday. This morning I had an anti-hangover - which is much like a hangover except you are not used to it. Tonight I am having a cheap bottle of white wine in an extravagently over-sized glass. No anti-hangover for me tomorrow!

two weeks later

and life took me away from my blog to show me what was outside. Nice, apart from the rain...

The busy season at work begins today. Let's install a new mail client (hello Outlook, I believe we met before in darker times). Let's install a new job tracking software (Is This Serious Mum?). Let's try it without a team manager. And as always, remember to smile. This is meant to be fun, right? And you know what? I can smile. Sure I get cranky. Sure I get pissed off. Then I remember the magic mantra... 'This is annoying. Pulling that head from attached body would cause me satisfaction. Why can't they just... oh, fuck it. Who cares? I had sex this morning and everything after that is merely a shadowy backdrop.Work crap just doesn't rate in this grander scheme.'

And it works...

and the rain came hammering down

yet more night sweats, more dreams... cannot find my vietnamese books on the shelf... lots of not being able to find the things I need... what does it all mean? virus my arse... what do the doctor's know? this is obviously some psychic invasion by alien forces...

fever pitch

12 hours in bed with sweats and hallucinatory dreams but little sleep.

drinks with cousins

spent most of the day in bed recovering from last night's excess. then spoilt all the good work by meeting up with my cousins in kings cross and drinking many bottles of red wine. back where i started again, hungover and struggling to leave the bedroom.

family dinner

left the rarified atmosphere of redfern with G and headed north north over the bridge and far away to where my brother lives in lindfield. arrived and set about cooking up a storm... leg of pork, leg of lamb, lots of veg both roasted and steamed. let loose in the wine cellar, reds from the 80's and 90's, so old they had corks in :-)

both my cousins from melbourne with their respective partners were there - my brother, his wife, the four children. much wine, beautiful food, brandy and excellent conversation. so I broke an 18th century chair? and slept walked naked around the house? and urinated in inappropriate places? and tried to get in bed with my cousin and her fiance? these things can be forgiven, non?

never, ever, ever go to the north side...

irregardless of quality

I was quoted a few nights ago: "But no! Wait! Pretszels! Magic dust!... Running man". It was a visual moment...

Robert Rowley rolled a round a rolled round, and if Robert Rowley rolled a round a rolled round,
where is the round roll Robert Rowley rolled round?
from THEOPHILUS THISTLER by SONIC ANIMATION

I was very happy this morning, and a days work has barely dimmed the sheen. Deep happiness. So happy it is annoying for other people. Sometimes you've just got to have a day like that.

a pat on the back for everyone

i can't show you this weekend's face, but a big thank you to all involved in making it a complete excess. i was proud to walk with Professionals who know that a good conversation sometimes takes 40 hours. who shoot pool as an exercise of rationality with passion. who understand that alcohol is a medium of communication. i salute you!

Another night another sofa. 5:30am bolt upright from family dreams - since when couldn't I tie a tie? And who was the mystery guest coming for me who never came? Thank god for Fridays - delieverance from work if not from dreams. Bike fixed - mobility re-returns.

had some alone time yesterday. was so excited I had to go out and tell someone about it. saved by nightime conversations. two poem morning. unheard of. pay day tomorrow.

some kind of wisdom

love will get you like a case of anthrax, and that's something i don't wanna catch
-- Gang of Four

lyrics of the night. brought me out of a temporary dazed emo moment into the cold harsh wind that is my window open. too much thinking leads to self-reflection and bad shit. don't listen to your heart unless you are a trained professional...

mondayitis

itchy, scratchy, tired. problematic day where simple tasks get tangled, bike tyre flat, people walk in your path... grumpy... monday

slippage

Naughty dog, no content. Have been entertained by what you can add to blogs without actually saying anything. Also entertained in First Life by quality people, lovely people. Vietnamese and cocktails in Newtown, coffee and study in Glebe, cocktail parties in Enmore, breakfast in Bondi. No money again - but pay only a long stone's throw away. Sunday warm, winey and a bath is imminent.

One week to payday

The economic countdown begins. Accounts empty, a week of miserly daily allowances calling softly from my slim wallet. Wine stocks running low, scotch gone. However my bike is repaired! (curse those over-quoting gobblins who fixed her...) Mobility has returned.

Late night discussions about free will do not help in quitting smoking, as enjoyable as they may be.

Tuesday good

Not bad for a Tuesday. Worked most of the day from home AND was productive. Various drop in conversations in the early evening, trailing into a night of philosophical discourse over beer. Post graduates dream of these days, but the monkey tech boy gets one today!

And so it begins... again...

5 cigarettes... back in the old office... butting head against Flash... is all looking a little familiar, yet somehow a little bit more advanced. and so onwards :-)

In the last hours of Sunday, I smoke the last dregs of my rollies and fear the morning realisation that I said I was going to quit.

Dinner party trailed into happy oblivion. Cleaning assisted by the spoils of war - happy alcoholic doggie-bags of love. Into the night towards pool (game with balls not wetness).

Ended day teaching lasagna cooking to ex-flateate. much shopping as its payday. large dinner party tomorrow...

Woke up on a phycisist's floor with the false confidence of the still drunk.